Mission of the Saints. In Picture Format for Your Viewing Pleasure.

Upon arriving back in the fair country of England, which the sun chooses to never grace with its presence (thank the Lord!), i checked my mail. Much to my surprise, i was greeted with a message from church history.



These four men- Sts. Adrian, Amand, Martin, and Vincent--Saints of Beer, Brewers and Barkeepers, Wine, and Vintners respectively--told me i must combat the sin of teetotalism creeping into the church through the teachings of these men- the Wesleys. Being a staunch Calvinist, I had no problem telling the Wesleys where to shove their ideas--in the rubbish bin. Whilst kindly thanking the Wesleys for the majority of their music, which the church desperately needs to reintroduce into its repertoire, i proceeded to beerptize the pulpit of St. Mary the Virgin Church in Oxford, where they both had preached at one point in time.


Taking cue from other great Christian men of the faith, Lewis and Tolkien, i proceeded to introduce my brother to, as this picture so clearly points out, an education in intoxication.


The initial reaction to this saint ordained mission was incredulity. However, after sampling the fruit of the vine, which God has so freely bestowed upon his people for their happiness, my brother ripped the camera from my hands and expressed his overflowing joy with a smile that can't be put to words.




Well, we must have lost that picture.






My mission was complete. I slunk off into the night, awaiting the next mission the saints might send my way.